My Mom set up a “mother’s day” display in her dining room, with photos of me, her, my Granny, my Baba and other generations of women from both my Mom and Dad’s side of the family.

Over the last month that I have been home, visiting, my Mom has told me stories of my Granny, Great-Granny and Great-Great Granny! All of them were strong-willed women, that were even described as “fiesty” and “wild” in their own ways. As my Mom tells the stories, they all seemed to live by the mantra “do no harm, but take no shit”, which I think is pretty cool for this day in age, let alone back then.

As I see Audrey becoming more and more alert and more aware of the world around her (which mostly involves my face staring back at her) I often think about my relationship with my Mom, and (when she was alive) my Granny and I hope to carry on the tradition of being a loving, supportive, sarcastic and charming woman, whom my daughter wants to emulate.  I want Audrey to know that she comes from a long line of women who loved their families deeply and while they sacrificed a lot, they didn’t do so in a manor that would have you believe that it was anything out of the ordinary  or done without a smile on their face.

It’s a little cliche, but this Mother’s Day, I plan on hugging my Mom a little harder…and cuddling Audrey a little extra as well. I hope that you get to do the same to yours, whether it’s in person, on the phone, or through a prayer.

Happy Mother’s Day all!

Audrey and her Granny playing…

About 9 months later, this little munchkin entered our lives…

All I am saying is that if you plan on doing the CN Tower climb this year…proceed with caution…or protection.

Although our end result is pretty amazing!

The person that is boarding a flight, sees a baby and groans…”ugh…great…I get to listen to a crying child for the next 90 minutes…”

Last week, I got to be on the other end of those looks, groans and a few gleeful looks as the people realized that I wasn’t on their flight.

For anyone looking to travel with a baby, toddler, child, etc. alone, for the first time, here is what I can offer in the way of advice, based on my extensive experience (read: one 90 minute flight)

(1) Show up early. Yes, this will mean sitting in the terminal waiting area a little longer, but if you are alone (i.e. your baby Daddy is taking advantage of some baby-free time and sleeping at home) you will appreciate the extra time you will have to get through security, use the washroom, do a last minute diaper change and if you’re flying Porter have a free latte or two.

(2) Find a nice elderly lady to set up shop beside or near her, while you wait for your flight to board. She will offer you kind words, friendly antidotes, and watch your stroller and extra bag while you go to the washroom, do a last minute diaper change and get your second (or third) free latte and bag of cookies.

(3) Leave as many toys, etc. as you can at home. Bring the one thing that you know will occupy your child for 10 minutes (when do you really get longer than that out of any toy anyways?)  For me, it was Audrey’s mirror…she loves looking at herself…apple doesn’t fall far from the tree I guess! You don’t want to be digging through a diaper bag looking for toy #10, while the others are on the floor, in your seat mates lap or on the tar mat. There will be enough other stuff for your baby to look at while you’re on the plane and if you’re lucky, the sound of the engine, etc. will knock them out for most of the flight.

(4) Relax and do not care what you may think others are thinking. This is the hardest part. When your child cries you feel like others are judging (and they probably are, as I know that I judged others when I heard a crying baby…karma man…itsabitch!) As Katy recently stated on What to Expect a crying child elicits allllll sorts of opinions, advice, etc. alllll of which are unwarranted and unappreciated.

My next flight with Audrey will be with the help of aforementioned baby Daddy, so I will have some help and might even be able to take a snooze…I know…I know…I’m laughing at that statement too.

Safe journey’s all!

Mom says that I come with a lot of baggage…

PS: For another take on air travel with kids and a personal hero of mine, check out the blog “Three Princes” and Sabrina’s recollection of The Flight that aged her 10 years

Also, as a new mother…I can only imagine the heartbreak and devastation that the family of 8 year old Martin Richard are facing.

Actions always speak louder.

So, as proposed by my wise friend Katy from Fit in Heels, I have walked for 26.2 minutes and I have kissed a love one.

If walking for 26.2 minutes isn’t  your thing, and you don’t have anyone close to you to kiss, hug or high five…try and do something that makes a difference in someone else’s life today (could be holding a door open for someone…) that instills our faith in humanity.

Take care.

Being a new mom is far more unglamorous than I imagined. I realized that it would be a lot of work, I had spent the better part of my teen years babysitting (once for a 2 year old that used to stand up in his crib and swear at me just like his trucker Dad…no joke…that story will be for another day) and had even spent a year as a nanny in Winnipeg for a little boy, from the time he was 5 days old until he was a year and a half. I have baby experience, but in each case I got to hand the kids over at the end of the day, or shift, get a wad of cash and go home to sleep soundly…I don’t recall a day yet that Evan has come home from work and took Audrey and replaced her with a wad of twenties…(although with him working full time and me just collecting EI….I guess it’s pretty much like that!)

I had images of me going for walks along the Toronto Beaches, pushing a stroller in one hand and sipping the latte that is in my other. I would be back into all my fun Spring clothes, having shed the baby weight within 12 weeks. Doesn’t that sound like a great life?

My reality? I do go for walks, with Audrey in her stroller and I am often sipping a fun beverage from one of the many coffee shops surrounding our neighbourhood. However, it’s usually sloshed and spilt all over my hands, as I dodge other strollers, dogs and small children.  I had to purchase two new pairs of jeans that I can zip up (both a size larger than my pre-pregnancy faves) and a few tops that I can easily breastfeed with, because fumbling with tank tops, tshirts and other items has allowed a few lucky strangers some side boob flashes.

The bottom line, this has been the hardest and yet most rewarding 3 months of my life. As Audrey “wakes up”  little more and more each day, smiling, cooing and squirming more and more, I  realize that it’s worth eating a little poop.

Last year, I wrote about some of  my favourite women…a recap HERE.

This year, I have a more general call to action for women…let’s be nicer to each other, OK?

Why am I looking for a group hug…here’s the story.

As mentioned (several times) before, I like to Google, look up information and keep in the loop on the latest stuff when it comes to pregnancy and parenting. Good or bad…this is my reality. Recently I found a blog called Pregnant Chicken, which allowed mothers and mothers-to-be to ask questions an get others to offer advice, support and of course judgement. I was amazed and appalled that when a women is facing serious situations, such as complications with a pregnancy or a challenging parenting moment, that others would take the time to call her names or make her feel like she is doing something incredibly damaging to her child.

Ladies, why can’t we all just get along?

Why, when a women is putting herself out there, asking for help or support would you take the time to write something negative? She’s obviously reaching out because she NEEDS help…so why instead of a life preserver do you offer a brick?

I have only been pregnant once and my daughter is only 2 months old, but anytime I can offer advice, support and help clear away some of the uncertainty that can come with pregnancy and parenting, I do. I would never pass judgement on someones decision to do or not do something, because the last time I checked, these babies don’t come with a manual!

SO…in conclusion…let’s not just celebrate women on International Women’s Day, but everyday…because without us, this world would be a lot less populated and a WHOLE lot less cute…

Yes…even at this decibel…she is adorable!

Moving on…we got to thinking…what will we get to lord over prophosize to our children about? The internet was the big winner in our discussion, and how it evolved from dial-up to the high-speed, 3G (or is it 4G now…I have no clue what that even means…) instant world that we now live in. The world as we now know it is available with the flick of our thumb, a swipe of a finger and it`s getting so easy to use that children are inventing apps…click HERE to feel really, really dumb…

Early on in my pregnancy I talked about being both overwhelmed and overjoyed with the wealth of information that is available to us as a quickly as we can say/type “Google”.  Good or bad (usually mostly confusing and panic inducing) the amount of “expert” opinion or user generated opinions and advice available can help you find whatever it is you need to confirm or deny whatever it is that you are looking for. The “information super highway” of “motherhood” is busier and more congested than any road in LA and navigating it is twice as hard some times.  Now that I have my child, I will admit that I do not Google any less, or spend any less time looking up things, it’s just changed from “can I eat/drink/do “x” while pregnant” to “is this normal/abnormal/healthy/developmentally stunting for my child”…

So, what do you do with all of this information? Hide under your bed, with your child? Well, you could, but I will admit that I do not clean regularly under there and the dust bunnies are not the friendliest of inhabitants. I have come to realize that advice is just that…advice. You can take it or leave it. When it comes to raising your child, you need to moderate the opinions, advice and Googling with your own common sense and “mothers intuition/instinct”. It’s crazy…but it does happen…the instinct just kicks in…kinda like an extra hormone or something that your body produces…although I will be the first to admit that I do NOT need any extra hormones coursing through me. (re: I cry A LOT…99% of the time happy tears, like when Audrey smiles at me…and 1% of the time because I have to change ANOTHER stinky diaper!)

So, in a world of instant opinions, judgy-ness, and know-it-all’s…trust yourself!

I have a lot of love in my life these days…for the last 5 weeks this little love bug has been making my heart swoon.

Even when she has her crabby face on…you can”t help but love her…

I love her more and more ever day…even when it`s 2am and I`ve only slept for 90mins…and she`s doing this…

Crazy how love works! Squeeze someone you love today…even if they`re crabby…actually especially if they`re crabby!

Yes, Audrey Elizabeth Katherine Neufeld joined our world at 2:08am on Tuesday, January 8th. She was bound and determined to be a part of our family in a hurry, and came a little ahead of schedule.  That’s ok with us, as we were ready for her and we appreciate efficiency in our house

The first time I held her I found myself making the following promises to this tiny little person…

I promise to always protect you. This means teaching you how to be a strong, independent woman, but also to know that it’s ok to ask for help. 

I promise to be fair and not answer questions with “because I said so” as much as possible…but know that when I do it’s pretty non-negotiable, so just accept that!

I promise to try and be patient, like your father is with me, and listen to you and try to understand your point of view or take on a situation as much as I can.

I promise to hug you for no reason and tell you that I love you all the time, because my Mom does that for me and I could not imagine a better tradition to keep going.  

I promise to be the buffer between you and your father when you want to start dating…but you must listen to me when I tell you my opinion on your dates. I learned (in some cases a little late) that Mom’s have an intuition when it comes to jerks and I would like to spare you as much heartache as I can.

I promise to not be your best friend, because that is not my role as your mother. My role is to be your leader, your “shining example” your confident and your biggest ally. Our relationship is bigger than friendship…and that’s important. 

I promise that no matter what time it is, no matter where in the world you are, that your father and I will be only a phone call (or text, or BBM or whatever we’re using in the future…) away and that we will help you however we can, no matter the situation. 

I am sure that there are a million other promises that I thought of or will subsequently make, but those are the ones that I remember in those first few hours.

A friend of mine, who has also recently had a baby, asked me after delivery if I was “just so in love” and I was overwhelmed with how much I was. It’s amazing that this little person, who for so long has not been a part of my life completes it now.  There was absolutely nothing “missing” from my relationship with Evan, but she completes us in a way that I cannot explain.

I would like to close with a poem that my Mom wrote for me…which I cannot even think about without bawling my eyes out…but I would like to share with you because it is truly beautiful and sums up everything that I have been feeling.

Hi sweetie,

you are once more your own entity

but will be forever attached

to that little part of your heart

that is now outside your body

maybe

that’s why we feel so vulnerable as parents

It’s been an interesting, exciting and memorable year…but I have a feeling that 2013 will be even more memorable, exciting and “interesting” than this year was.

For me, 2012 went a little something like this…

January: 2011 was the year that I had to deal with turning 30 (which ended up better than I imagined…I think that it helped that Evan took me to New York where I could bury my sadness in shopping and amazing food. However, January 2012 was when one of my fave people in the world turned 30. I made sure that this was a Birthday she would remember with a full pamper at MAC makeup, BLO dry and a fun night out. I could barely move off the couch the next day, but it was all worth it!

LOOK! I have a waist…this disappears over the course of 2012…

February-March: This is my busiest, craziest time of the year, given that the event that I manage (Power of Movement) takes place the first Sunday in March. Therefore, this is a bit of a blur for me. I do know that the event was successful and I got to help direct, edit and produce a video all about it. Please check it out HERE.  I am super proud of how it all came together and I think that it tells a very important story about the lives of those living with arthritis.

April: Evan and I had a very athletic April. First, we went back home to Thunder Bay for Easter which involved an intense egg hunt at my parents house…

Then we both took part in the WWF’s CN Tower climb…the first and ONLY time that either of us will ever do this. Below are our event t-shirts…you will notice that I was able to climb the 1776 steps to the top one min and 26 seconds faster.

Also…this happened…

Like I said…an “athletic” month…

May-August: Seeing as I was newly pregnant and didn’t really find out until into May, I continued on with life…which doesn’t mean that I continued my January hi-jinks, but more with my April shenanigans…such as the Sporting Life 10k with Katy.

Little did we know that Katy herself was knocked up!

Also, in July this happened…

And in August my Mom adopted a stand-in-grandchild…

 September: Fearing that our lives were going to be void of free-time and fun very soon, Evan and I did a “baby-moon” in Boston for Labour Day long weekend. We absolutely LOVED Boston and highly recommend it to anyone who likes seafood! We had lobster EVERY DAY!

October: I got to pretend that I was a supermodel (note the disappearing waist…as mentioned earlier). Thank you to Rent Frock Repeat for allowing me to be in Canadian Family magazine in the gorgeous Yigal Azrouel Bazooka Stretch Metal Pink Taffeta Dress!

November: The 100th Grey Cup was in Toronto this year, so about this time in 2011, we bought tickets to the game. My Dad was able to come down and go to the Justin Bieber concert…I mean football game with us…and good times were had by all!

December: This has been a crazy month…finishing up work for a year (still has not set in that I am “off work” for more than 365 days!) getting the nursery together, and celebrating my last Christmas with Evan, just the two of us…

So…yeah…that’s how this year basically went. It’s been a pretty amazing (and sober) year for me, and I am so excited for what the events of this year mean for 2013…

Until next year, I wish you all a happy, healthy and safe night and I am looking forward to ranting, raving and gushing more in the new year!